Family Portrait

Conversation between Aaron and me the other day:

Me: I am so exhausted; I look like I have cross-eyes.

Aaron: We are never getting family portraits again.

Me: I can wear shades from now on I guess?!?!

Aaron: No, I don't care if your eyes are crossed. I just don't want to deal with that crazy day ever again! You have to photo shop me in the picture or bring a card board cut out next year.

Me: (angry face)

Aaron: Oh and your eyes don't look cross-eyed.

I really couldn't blame Aaron for never wanting to have our pictures taken again...


I have put this off for 4 months now and made plans for us to go last Thursday. By making plans I don't mean calling to schedule, I just reminded Aaron everyday and figured out what we would wear. Sears ended up being booked up all day so we decided to walk down to JCPenny's. They had an opening at 12:20, so we walked around the mall for an hour and went back to Penny's. Sophie was getting restless due to it being her nap time and Aaron and I could see that a storm was about to unfold. Aaron asked if we should just go home and do this, another day. I told him it would be over soon so let's just get this over with and be done with it.

They called our name and we went back to the "studio." They told us to take off our shoes and come in...I said, "Can I just wear my shoes...they are clean and my feet are embarrassingly hideous?" Photog lady relied, "No, we don't want our white back drop to be ruined." I took off my shoes and walked in. The room smelled like foot and the back drop was 5 shades of stained...I am not sure how my slip ons would hurt this room at all. The photog lady positioned us with me sitting with my legs together and straight out, she told Aaron to sit right on top of my knees and Sophie to get in there too. I felt like I was in a Pilate’s class and the lady kept telling me to lean forward more. I was in so much pain that I was holding my breath and making myself have 5 chins. Sophie was angry and crying while everyone was yelling at her to smile in high pitch voices. The photog lady took about 5 shots and called it good. I asked her if there were any keepers, she smiled and said, "Oh yeah, great shots!" We tried to take pictures of Sophie by herself and she wasn't having it. The lady was yelling at her to stay on the stained back drop, Aaron was throwing Jelly Beans at her, and a little boy was standing at the door flirting with her. The photog lady kept asking me if we would like to just reschedule. I was like...listen here; it isn't everyday I get out of my sweat pants, put on make up and keep Sophie's clothes clean for more than an hour.

When we were scrolling through the pictures, the photog lady was laughing along with Aaron about the gross faces I was making that made me look like I have Down syndrome and 5 chins. There were only two decent pictures (understatement of the century) of the three of us to choose from and a grand total of 1 picture of Sophie. On a positive note, this made our selection very easy. I dished out the money and we will be able to pick up our portraits in 2 days to share with friends and family.

I really want to ask for our money back and redo the pictures. Does anyone know of a stunt man to stand in as Aaron? The pictures are awful and I really don't want them to be the memory of how we looked in 2010. I have some insight as to why, in all of our family pictures growing up, at least one of us kids looks like a homeless child.